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The 2 Biggest Relationship Killers
The economy impacts relationships a LOT more than people think it does. For many of us it can be deadly to our love lives as well as our financial lives.
The first of the two relationship killers for people is that they spend so little time together,
People work all the time.
They are rarely at home together. Proximity, being physically together, matters to romance. It matters a lot
People need to spend time together to have a relationship.
And it’s not just a problem with romantic relationships either. It’s impossible to have relationships of any kind if you can’t spend any time with people you love.
Work, the struggle to make a living is interfering with all kinds of relationships including romantic relationships.
I once interviewed a man who wanted a romantic relationship badly. He told me that he had very little time to meet someone or maintain a relationship if he had one, because he was at work nearly all the time.
I suggested he spend a bit more time finding someone to love or alternatively loving someone at work.
He replied he could not do either because he was afraid of damaging his career, which was of paramount importance to him.
He worked for a large corporation. They really like to fire people, regardless of how good they are because they hate to pay people retirement. He really believed he could beat the odds and have a great career if he just kept working nearly every minute he was awake.
I never heard how things turned out for him, but I fear he’s still alone and lonely.
But there is another big risk to relationships that people struggle with every day.
It’s one of the biggest relationship killers, financial problems. And it may be related to not having a job at all, ironically.
Anger, frustration and fear swamp relationships when people don’t have enough income to pay the bills. It adds an enormous amount of relationship stress.
It is my personal opinion that financial problems are relationship breakers. And it’s not extravagance that’s the real issue. The idea that people are irresponsible or extravagant is only really true in a few cases.
Bankruptcies happen most often for 3 reasons. One is illness, and one is job loss.
But the other one is divorce. And it might be and often is related to the first 2 reasons for bankruptcy,
1. Illness and the bills that come with it or
2. Job loss.
People can’t handle the feelings of being out of control, the fear turns to anger and they take it out on the people they are supposed to love.
But it’s important that people recognize that they can take steps to insure successful relationships by getting control of their own career.
1. Get work that means you don’t have to worry much about layoffs.
2. Make sure you live below your means and have savings that will get you through bad times.
3. Spend all the time you can together, maybe even working together.
4. Look for self-employment opportunities.
5. Don’t commute. Work at home or live at work.
All these things will give you both the time and the income to have a relationship that you can nurture and passionately enjoy.
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