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Relationship Killers

Thursday, August 4th, 2011


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The 2 Biggest Relationship Killers

The economy impacts relationships a LOT more than people think it does. For many of us it can be deadly to our love lives as well as our financial lives.

The first of the two relationship killers for people is that they spend so little time together,

People work all the time.

They are rarely at home together. Proximity, being physically together, matters to romance. It matters a lot

People need to spend time together to have a relationship.

And it’s not just a problem with romantic relationships either. It’s impossible to have relationships of any kind if you can’t spend any time with people you love.

Work, the struggle to make a living is interfering with all kinds of relationships including romantic relationships.

I once interviewed a man who wanted a romantic relationship badly. He told me that he had very little time to meet someone or maintain a relationship if he had one, because he was at work nearly all the time.

I suggested he spend a bit more time finding someone to love or alternatively loving someone at work.

He replied he could not do either because he was afraid of damaging his career, which was of paramount importance to him.

He worked for a large corporation. They really like to fire people, regardless of how good they are because they hate to pay people retirement. He really believed he could beat the odds and have a great career if he just kept working nearly every minute he was awake.

I never heard how things turned out for him, but I fear he’s still alone and lonely.

But there is another big risk to relationships that people struggle with every day.

It’s one of the biggest relationship killers, financial problems. And it may be related to not having a job at all, ironically.

Anger, frustration and fear swamp relationships when people don’t have enough income to pay the bills. It adds an enormous amount of relationship stress.

Getting him to talk to you

It is my personal opinion that financial problems are relationship breakers. And it’s not extravagance that’s the real issue. The idea that people are irresponsible or extravagant is only really true in a few cases.

Bankruptcies happen most often for 3 reasons. One is illness, and one is job loss.

But the other one is divorce. And it might be and often is related to the first 2 reasons for bankruptcy,

1. Illness and the bills that come with it or
2. Job loss.

People can’t handle the feelings of being out of control, the fear turns to anger and they take it out on the people they are supposed to love.

But it’s important that people recognize that they can take steps to insure successful relationships by getting control of their own career.

1. Get work that means you don’t have to worry much about layoffs.
2. Make sure you live below your means and have savings that will get you through bad times.
3. Spend all the time you can together, maybe even working together.
4. Look for self-employment opportunities.
5. Don’t commute. Work at home or live at work.

All these things will give you both the time and the income to have a relationship that you can nurture and passionately enjoy.

Tags: biggest relationship killers, financial stress on relationship, money and relationships, reduce relationship stress, relationship advice, relationship killers, relationship problems, relationship stress, stress on relationship, stressful relationship, successful relationships
Posted in relationship advice, Relationships | 19 Comments »

In Good Relationships Health Matters

Sunday, July 3rd, 2011

There are a lot of people out there who are struggling to find and maintain a good relationship, a romantic one that they can enjoy that will make their life happier and more satisfying.

Good relationships are  something we all want.

One of the things that may make a better relationship easier is to pay attention to good health. It’s nice to look as good as we can, but it’s WAY more important to be healthy and vital throughout life, regardless of age.

People who are in better health have more energy to give to making and maintaining a good relationship than people who are ill. Health problems and relationships don’t mix very well.

Here is a bit of relationship advice that will keep you in the fun crowd.

1.      Keep your weight normal. People who are normal weight are less likely to develop many of the chronic health problems that overweight causes. Diabetes, pregnancy issues, sexual dysfunction in men, high blood pressure and heart disease are all on the list of things that can make you and yours miserable. Losing a few pounds may very well mean you have more fun as well as living longer. It’s SO worth it.

2.      Get some exercise. Maybe you could even get exercise with your sweetie. It is more fun than you might think. Plus, if you are single and looking you might meet someone. Being strong makes you feel sexier, too.

3.      Eat healthy foods. Eating nutritious food gives you the energy to have fun. It’s also going to make you feel better. Best of all, your brain will work better. So will your sexual parts. It’s great for relationships.

4.      Avoid exposure to too many chemicals. Many are far more harmful than you might imagine. Watch out for drugs, too. Most of the illegal ones are bad for you and your relationships. Some legal ones, like alcohol, are bad, too. If you are living a healthy lifestyle you won’t need them.

5.      Pay attention to your mental and emotional health, too. Did you know exercise outside often helps depression more than drugs? Meditation may actually improve your physical health as well as your mental health. Volunteering might help, too. If you have a problem look for answers and help with counselors and physicians, if lesser measures don’t work.

Getting him to talk to you

6.      Pay attention to your sexual health. Having unprotected sex with the wrong person can be a problem. It can negatively impact your whole life, from your ability to have children to how long you live. Talk to your doctor and be smart, picky and careful.

Being happy and connected with in successful relationships requires good health. Most people get a few dings and health problems as they grow older, but many of these issues are under your direct control. Exercise and nutritious meal planning with people who are important to you can be a pleasure as well as healthy and good for you. Having fun and living well are really worth the extra attention.

Tags: a better relationship, good relationship, good relationships, health and relationships, health problems and relationships, maintain a good relationship, maintaining a good relationship, relationship advice, sexual health, successful relationships
Posted in Eating Healthier, relationship advice, Relationships | Comments Off

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